The Holiday Season can be one of the toughest times of the year when it comes to how we feel about our our body and our relationship with food (these two things seem to always be connected, don’t they?). For some of us with body concerns, the Holiday Season can even tougher than swimsuit season. Let’s talk a bit about why that is, and explore how we can continue to respect our bodies throughout the festive time of year.
The first thing I would like to talk about that contributes to body anxiety at this time of year are the increased number of social gatherings and celebrations. At holiday parties we want to have fun, and we want to look good…to sparkle like Christmas tinsel when we are celebrating with family and friends. Now, there is nothing wrong with wanting to kick up your game and aim to look good, but beware. If you have a narrow, media influenced view of beauty (thin, young, blonde, perhaps?), and your whole self-worth is tied up in how close you come to this ideal, worrying about ‘looking good’ can cause stress and negative feelings about your body. Throughout the holidays, remember the beauty in body diversity. Look beyond the women you see in the magazines and open your eyes to the beauty around you in the real world. Have fun…and dress the body you have, right now! Make sure you have clothes that a) fit and b) you like! When it comes to dressing up and beauty, I like to take my cues from the wisdom in this song by India Aria, in that whatever I do, I make sure it feels good in my soul.
Now let’s consider the food….oh, the food! Over the holidays we are often surrounded by delicious food that we have been conditioned to think of as ‘bad’. All the holiday baking and treats can cause us to worry that we will eat too much of the wrong thing. The Food Police kick into high gear and diet talk is common around the table during holiday feasts. We feel obliged to apologize, or comment on how ‘bad’ we are being for everything we put in our mouth. Ironically, all this negative self talk often results in feeling less in control of what we eat than more. We become more and more convinced we can’t trust ourselves, and when be become overwhelmed and discouraged many of us turn to food for not only fun and good taste, but for comfort. And we are more likely to overeat. As you ponder your food choices over the holidays, consider the wisdom in the Intuitive Eaters Holiday Bill of Rights to help you make choices that support you, both in your health goals and in enjoying the delights of this holiday time.
Remember, an indulgence during the holidays does not undo all the good work you have been doing in healing your relationship with food and your body. If you’ve been working at eating mindfully and intuitively, and find yourself over indulging, either because of the utter deliciousness of the food, or the stress of the holidays (family and relationship stuff does tend to come up), don’t worry..you have not failed and will not have to start over! Bumps in the road are part of the journey, they do not have to derail you! The temptation I suggest you do avoid is planning to ‘make up’ for holiday indulgences with extra exercise or some kind of diet / restriction plan (i.e.: “I’ll start the New Year with a juice fast!”). The best plan when we have moments of over-eating and bingeing is to start with showing yourself some compassion. Then, regroup, reconnect with your body and it’s signals of hunger and fullness and move on!
Finally, one of the biggest traps we can fall into over the holiday season that plays havoc on our body image is the imminent arrival of the New Year. The end of the calendar year is a time that lends itself naturally to reflection. As we pause and take stock of our life, reflecting on our accomplishments and challenges, we can be triggered to panic about our body. Here we are, we think, with yet another year gone by, and we have not yet become thin. It is hard not to fall into this trap with the New Year’s Resolution diet talk all around us. Even those of us who are on the journey of learning to respect our bodies unconditionally and have embraced the principles behind Health at Every Size have a hard time not being impacted with all the diet and weight loss chatter that happens with the coming of the New Year.
What can help here is to remember that success is not tied to the number on the scale. There is no need to panic….health is a journey, not a destination. Things you are doing for your health like learning to relax, eating healthier food, getting your body moving are doing their job, whether or not you lose weight as a result. So, please consider side-stepping the New Years’ resolution / weight loss trap. As an alternative, here is a lovely piece suggesting a way to routinely reflect on our life and set intentions that support our happiness and health. I think this softer, gentler approach to making changes helps avoid the trap of making the GRAND PLAN that many of us fall victim to. You know, the GRAND PLAN is the plan where we are going to get our life in order and suddenly become a Workout Queen, eat a perfect vegan/gluten free/whatever diet and meditate every day…not to mention losing 50lbs? As tempting as these GRAND PLANS are, especially with the New Year coming up, they are more often than not, a recipe for disaster. With the GRAND PLAN we become overwhelmed with the sweeping, and often quite restrictive changes, and invariable we rebel. It all comes down to motivation. If you are planning a change in either your diet or activity level, please consider if that change is coming from a place of fear or punishment. Neither one of these is a foundation for establishing long term health habits. Instead, look for shifts toward health you can make in your life that come from a place of love and respect for you and your body.
Thanks for taking the time to stop by and visit, I hope you have been inspired to continue nurturing a joyful and respectful relationship with your body. Wishing you all a groovy holiday time. Remember, you are enough – just as you are. No Christmas miracle needed.
peace,
Sydney