Diving Deeper with Self-Compassion

The longer I learn about self-compassion, the more layers of understanding and engagement that are available to us I discover. We often hear about the benefits of self-compassion, but not as much on how we practice it.  First, we start with the idea that self-compassion is the ability to offer the compassion we have for others to ourselves. Fairly straight forward. But it begs the question of ‘what is compassion?’. If we don’t have a solid understanding of what compassion is, how can we offer it to anyone, let alone ourselves?

When we unpack compassion a bit further, we learn that it is the experience of being both aware of and responding to the pain or distress of others. Both elements are a vital part of compassion. If we are not tuned into the suffering of others, we will not have the opportunity to be compassionate. Likewise, if we are aware of the pain and distress experienced by others, but we do not respond in some way, we are not practicing compassion.

The same is with self-compassion. If we don’t have a clear understanding of what is going on for us when we are in pain (physically or emotionally), we cannot offer ourselves compassion. Mindfulness is a great tool to promote self-awareness needed to practice compassion.  Again, with self-compassion, awareness of our pain isn’t enough. We must respond to our suffering in some way. We must take action. Whether through kind self-talk or other intentional self-care practices, like joyful movement, sleep, making art…whatever we find soothing to our spirit. Then we are engaged in self-compassion.

Diving deeper still we discover another aspect of compassion, the ability to both offer and accept it. The action we take in responding to pain and distress we talked about earlier is the ‘offering’ part of compassion.  But just as important to consider is our ability to accept compassion, whether from others or from ourselves. Accepting compassion means we fully experience and appreciate the compassion that is offered to us. We are willing to lean into the moment.  Sometimes we have a hard time accepting compassion from others. We might feel embarrassed at our vulnerability when others have noticed our pain or distress. Or maybe we fear to be a burden on others. If you find accepting compassion from others to be challenging, I invite you to consider why. What are your blocks to compassion? What are your fears?  Recognizing and accepting compassion offered to you by others is a beautiful gift.  A gift that also allows you to be in a better place to offer compassion to others, and to yourself. 

Open yourself up to the full spectrum of compassion. Practice offering and receiving compassion with others. Then think about what it would mean to both offer and receive compassion to yourself.  Self Compassion is a powerful tool. Not only for promoting body sovereignty but for health and well being in general.  Dive deep….there is treasure there.

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Sydney is a psychotherapist providing online counselling with a focus on healing body shame. Her approach is grounded in Health at Every Size principles, supporting a reclaiming of Body Sovereignty, where we once again experience peace, trust and respect of our body. To learn more about Sydney and her approach, check out here website: www.sydneybell.ca or send an email: sydney@sydneybell.ca