Yesterday this came across my twitter feed: “Your body, mind, and heart resists restriction but craves self-care.” (@EatWhatYouLove ). I believe this is true and at the heart of Principle #3; Make Peace With Food. Here is how the principle reads on the Intuitive Eating Website:
Make Peace with Food: Call a truce, stop the food fight! Give yourself unconditional permission to eat. If you tell yourself that you can’t or shouldn’t have a particular food, it can lead to intense feelings of deprivation that build into uncontrollable cravings and, often, bingeing . When you finally “give-in” to your forbidden food, eating will be experienced with such intensity, it usually results in Last Supper overeating, and overwhelming guilt
Unconditional permission to eat. Wow…..stop and let that sink in for a moment. What would it be like to live with deeply felt, intrinsic permission to eat what you want, when you want? How would that change how you approach food?
It is a concept that is pretty scary notion for most people – because we don’t trust ourselves. We are convinced that if we truly let ourselves eat what we want (with no recrimination) we would simply mainline high caloric drinks and dive into a big pail of icecream. We assume our default is eating types and quantities of food that does not support us or our health. So, we look to outside experts and try to take refuge in rules and restrictions that make food the enemy.
But the thing is, when food is the enemy and we don’t have carte blanche permission to eat then we set up the possibility of ‘failing’ at food and we invite guilt and fear to guide us with our food choices. I think this fear and guilt is the genesis of most of our problems with over-eating. You see, guilt and fear make us feel powerless around food. The restrictive rules that at first provide a feeling of safety and bring initial clarity to our eating are usually impossible to maintain and we become overwhelmed at the thought of food transgressions (either actual or potential) leading to hopelessness. Stewing in overwhelm and hopelessness for too long for many people results in throwing up our hands, saying eff-it and binge.
However, when you make peace with food you are released from the guilt and fear that clouds your ability to make positive choices for yourself It’s funny how that works…the more you fear food and try to prevent yourself from eating it, the more danger you are in of a disordered relationship with it and at risk of engaging in binge eating or other unhelpful eating behaviours. Conversely, the more you give yourself unconditional permission to eat, without judgment or recrimination the less power food has over you. Being relaxed around food tends to encourage choices that are more likely to support our health, such as eating when we are hungry or stopping when we are full. Or, defaulting less to eating ‘junk’ food out of habit or reaction and taking the time to tune into our bodies and find out what we *really* want.
I know that when I load food with judgements of bad and good, or if my food choices determine whether I’ve had a good day, or even how I feel about myself as a person, deciding what I east becomes way more complicated then it needs. It isn’t easy to weed out the deep-seeded voices that whisper in our ear, feeding us the lie that food is our enemy to be conquered, but it is worth the effort. Turn the table, invite food to be your ally in supporting you, nourishing you in ways that help you live the life how you want to.
Self Reflective Questions:
As you consider the idea of Making Peace with Food and what it means in your own life to let it go, consider:
- What do you notice? Do you see food as the enemy? What choices do you make around food that are influenced by this notion?
- What do you feel? What emotions arise for you when consider making peace with food?
- What does it mean? How would making peace with food change your day to day Life?
- What will you do? What are some concrete actions you can take to make peace with food?
Thank you for reading. Next week we are moving on to exploring Principe #4: Challenging the Food Police. I hope you will join me!