Self Compassion is a concept that is easy to understand in theory, but putting into practice is a bit more of a challenge for many people. Through my own experiences and learning from folks who have explored the idea of self compassion in depth, I have come to see self-compassion as being aware of and responding to the suffering we experience with kindness.
Tara Brach (author of Radical Acceptance) brings a Buddhist perspective to her understanding of self compassion, which she describes as embracing our pain with the kindness of a mother holding her child. The work here is to find the compassion and understanding that we so readily give to others and offer it to ourselves.
Again – seems simple enough, but what stands in our way?
One challenge of welcoming self compassion to our lives is that it is often seen as trivial, self-indulgent or even a copout from taking personal responsibility. Kristen Neff, author of Self Compassion assures us that this is not the case. Welcoming self compassion to our lives in no way releases us from responsibility for our actions, which distinguishes it from self-pity, which can have a demotivating effect because it can entrench us in feelings of hopelessness. Check out this video where Kristen Neff takes us through her thought process about self compassion and accountability/motivation.
The power of Self Compassion is that it allows us to lovingly hold ourselves to account, because as the kindness we show to ourselves starts to diminish the inner critical voices we start to feel safe enough to look at ourselves and our actions with clear eyes and face what we need to do to make changes.
Is self compassion something you practice regularly? If not, what holds you back?
**Excerpted from the Reclaiming Body Sovereignty Workbook, available for purchase.