Recently, in a guided meditation I heard an affirmation: “Today I will offer love to my body”. What a wonderful and compelling thought! It has me thinking about what offering love means and how it could be a beautiful healing opportunity for people who are not at a place to love their body.
This is what I’m thinking. Love Your Body is a popular refrain these days. Which is great – the stereotype busting efforts of people like Lizzo are so important to help us shake out of the thin ideal trap we find ourselves in. And yet, the growing popularity of the ‘love your body’ movement can have a decidedly shadow aspect, an undercurrent of expectations that can be a barrier for people who are looking to heal from body shame. I think it can be easy to fall into the trap of believing to ‘love your body’ it is a requirement to have an active Instagram account, dress glamorously, do yoga, or even be a radical activist. But what if none of those things describe us? What if we don’t see ourselves reflected in the “love your body movement’? What if posting photos of ourselves or wearing bikinis is not our thing? Does that mean we don’t/can’t love our body?
Here is where we can fall into the trap of dichotomous or black and white thinking. Just like the idea that if we are not ‘thin’ we are ‘fat’ or that food is either ‘bad’ or ‘good’, we falsely begin to believe that we must either ‘hate’ or ‘love’ our body. We offer ourselves no room for the possibilities and permutations in between. Through my work I have learned that the concept of ‘love your body’ is hard for some people and that when becoming more accepting of our body is grounded in the premise that you must ‘love’ your body many people shy away. Being able to love their body is beyond their reckoning. This is where the idea of body neutrality comes in. If we cannot see ourselves at a place of loving our body, to know that we can choose to not hate our body, gives us the space to let go of shame and be in a place where we can begin to heal.
My approach to healing body shame is about reclaiming body sovereignty. And in my work with clients we focus on three areas of growth: body peace, body trust and body respect. Certainly love of the body can be an integral and wonderful part of this experience, but it is a not a requirement. All that is needed is a willingness to move away from hate and a letting go of shame. It is my hope that an intentional cultivation of peace, trust and respect will be a fertile ground for love to grow, but it is important to realize that love for the body looks different for everyone. Some people become enamoured of the shape of their body they once disliked. But not everyone. For some people they may still not love how their body looks, but they are able to experience peace and no longer hate their body. They may love their body in different ways. Perhaps they practice gratitude and embrace with the things their body can do and engage with the world. Or maybe through mindfulness and reconnecting with their body they begin to enjoy the sensuous experience of their body and enjoy sight, sound, touch and smell.
What are your thoughts on this? Have you struggled with the idea that the goal is to ‘love your body’? How does it shift for you to think of ‘offering love to your body instead’? What would that look like for you?
I truly do not believe we can hate or shame ourselves into health and wellbeing. And yet, that is the underlying message of diet culture. “You are not enough as you are – you must be thinner, younger, hotter.” Robbing us of the peace, trust and respect for our body and ourselves that is our birth right. What if instead of focussing on forcing ourselves to feel a certain way about our body, we set the intention of offering it love? Turn it into something we actively do instead of waiting to passively experience.
So, as you go through your day today, open yourself to spaces and opportunities to offer love to your body.
Thank you for reading!
Sydney
Embracing the Body Divine
Sydney is a psychotherapist providing online counselling with a focus on healing body shame. Her approach is grounded in Health at Every Size principles, supporting a reclaiming of Body Sovereignty, where we once again experience peace, trust and respect of our body. To learn more about Sydney and her approach, check out here website: www.sydneybell.ca or send an email: sydney@sydneybell.ca to book a free consultation.
More connections:
Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/embracingthebodydivine/
Temple of the Body Divine Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/463748887575456/
On Instagram: @embracingthebodydivine